This Time

I sat with my knees pulled close to my chest

And fluttered my eyes shut tightly,

To shield myself from the everlasting unrest

and forced myself to hum lightly.


I am now aware of what we shared,

That I was not real to you.

You really only put on airs,

To hide your endless blue.


Not pretty blue, not turquoise,

Or something of the like.

But something more of your choice,

That would continuously strike.


I tried to be fair to you,

Was always sure to be kind.

I see exactly what you are trying to do,

But I won’t fall for it.

Not this time.





The Feelings come with ease,

but I press my lips together tight.

The Feelings conflict and are




and possess my thoughts come night.

The decision is mine, I know you would

never dare.

I imagine my fingers running deep,

through your hair.

It’s painful for us both.

Your eyes gleaming, seeming

hopeful and rare.

I am afraid to be bold and confess that

perhaps this is not whats meant

for us,

but I must,

I must.