My 25 at 25

So I was recently looking over the past couple of months in my journal and right before my birthday in August, I made a list of the top 25 things that I have really learned in my 25 years that I thought I would share! So here we go!

  1. Do it and it’s done.

2.”Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail bigger.”

3. Change is inevitable, good and bad.

4. Not everything is as black and white as it seems.

5. Even when you just want to give up, don’t. You can never give up hope or belief in              yourself.

6. The universe is a friendly place that wants to see you succeed.

7. Do what you want to do. (But not at the expense of someone else’s well being or                feelings)

8. Worrying is useless and only causes stress.

9. WHO CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK?

10. Stay in your own lane. Success is yours.

11. Always get up, even when it hurts most.

12. Always be kind.

13. Don’t take things personally.

14. Enjoy the journey, even if it sucks.

15. Travel as much as possible.

16. Take risks and be a yes-man for a while. (Use your best judgment).

17. People see things the way they want to and that’s not your business.

18. Always take time out for family and friends.

19. Experience as much as possible.

20. Let go of things that no longer serve you.

21. Always trust that things will fall into place. (Because they always do).

22. Take care of yourself. (Mentally, physically, emotionally).

23. Face problems head on.

24. You are more valuable than your headshot/resume, job, position, etc.

25. Trust yourself; your heart, your drive, your mind. Beat out the thoughts that turn               you against yourself. Remember, our brains are wired to stop us in uncomfortable             situations. Fight for yourself. You will succeed greatly.

 

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Secret Weapon

So, this is not something I have really discussed outwardly on here, but you can kind of grasp through some of my poetry (since when am I a poet????) and other writing that I am a big believer in the law of attraction and having control over your own destiny. For example, the poem that I wrote called “Guiding Hand” or any time i speak about light, it is usual in reference to spirit or to the law of attraction.

It sounds a little kooky at first, but it really is true that what you put out comes back to you. If you are constantly focusing on what you don’t have and complaining that life sucks and that you are nowhere near your goals, that is only going to continue to happen. It may seem difficult for some to train your brain to believe that everything is going to work out, but nothing great ever really happens over night. It takes time and practice and dedication; you create habits that support your goals instead of being inactive, you become more self aware and are more happy because of it. You find out what is good for you and what makes you happy vs. things that have been bringing you down or creating a sense of comfortable laziness.

Throughout my life I have been very lucky to have known about the law of attraction without really knowing that it is called. Because of that, I have had a lot of opportunity, success, and have brought wonderful people into my life. Strange phenomenons would happen all of the time that would be in congruence with things that I had put out, whether that meant through writing, focused energy, or speaking it out loud. I would truly believe that everything was going to be okay, and usually its better than okay.

I ask for signs a lot, especially when I am going through an uncertain time. When I was in my last relationship, I wasn’t sure what was happening and that was a hard burden to keep to myself. One day in the very thick of it, I was babysitting. The kids that I babysit can sometimes have behavioral issues and this was in the second month of me working there. I knew that I had to take one of them to buy a gift, so we walked into a toy store. While this was happening, I was preoccupied with the thoughts of my relationship almost constantly. It would bring me down more than I have ever experienced before. I would think about it on the train, at work, when I was out with friends, anytime I looked at my phone, with family, in my room. It was endless. I had recently made a statement out loud that asked for a sign of positivity to get back the feeling I was used to, because it felt lost. Boy, did I get a huge sign.

I will shorten this up a bit, but I ended up losing my wallet that day at work in an unfamiliar part of Brooklyn while caring around a hungry 7 year old. I tried to remain calm because we had only walked 2 blocks before realizing I could have left it at the toy store. The 7 year old was remarkably patient, helpful, and had not a single tantrum or attitudinal issue. I was immediately grateful because it was getting late, he hadn’t eaten dinner, and we had been walking back and forth for a very long time seeing if we could spot the wallet in the snow. No luck.

We went to the toy store and random stores along the way, searching to see if we had somehow missed it or maybe someone brought it into someplace nearby. The feeling of panic was very faint. I couldn’t explain it, but I felt like everything would be okay. I knew my insurance card, credit cards, unlimited metrocard, money, Id, and everything else in there was out there somewhere but that I would be seeing it again somehow. Maybe. Hopefully. Finally, I was at the end of my rope. Keep in mind I had 4% phone battery. I told the kid I babysit that we tried our best, but we should try to go home. I looked down at my soon-to-be-dead phone and saw a random number had called. I thought nothing of it.

We started to make our way to the train and I couldn’t help but feel a sense of defeat as I asked if I could use his school metrocard to get on the train and figure out the rest later. I suddenly thought that maybe it would be a good idea to call the person back. Maybe it was a casting call! I called them back and a woman named Christine answered. Earlier that day, I had emailed with a woman named Christine about an audition. I immediately deflated somehow thinking that this could have been related to my wallet. But, to my surprise, Christine actually had found my wallet and had looked me up online to find my phone number. She said she had searched long and hard to match up my information, and that she had seen m wallet in the snow and picked it up to try to get it back to the owner. She said that everything seemed to be in it still and that we could meet her at a restaurant nearby to pick it up. She gave me the address, and my phone died.

No google maps to rely on, I tried to remember every detail about where she said she would be. A woman on the street came up to me and asked if I needed help and pointed me in the right direction. About 45 minutes later, we found the right place and my wallet was safely returned to me with every single thing still intact. I felt tremendous appreciation and love and overall thankfulness. I tried to buy her and her date some drinks, but she just told me to pay it forward.

The sign I had been looking for to show me that something positive was still within me and outside of me had appeared before my eyes. It was the perfect metaphor for what was happening in my life; everything was seeming difficult, lost, and like an overall struggle. But there was a light there. It had never even gone away, I just let it slip past me for a second.

We, as Americans, are very self-absorbed in what makes us feel negativity. The world is faced with horrible, inescapable situations and we sit here upset about a relationship that is making us unhappy or a job that is not fulfilling or a cup of coffee that spilled on our new jacket. Yeah, those things suck ,but they are fixable and don’t need a negative focus. Put a positive spin on it all and you will find that you are strong enough to make a decision about your relationship, that you look for a job that will make you happier, that you wash out that coffee stain and move on with your life. Everything comes back to you and the universe is a friendly place, so practice staying positive, set goals, get out there, do things that you like, help people (even a simple smile on the subway can make someones day), and move on with your life knowing that you have the power to get what you want, big and small, if you focus the right energy on it. Remember, it’s a lot easier to give into negativity. Don’t choose the easy path. 😉

Life Lessons

As I get closer to my 25th birthday (it’s in August and I am just excited, okay?!) , I can’t help but feel that there is something extremely great on the horizon. I feel empowered and happier than ever and am so grateful for the opportunities I have had placed before me and the ones to come.

Recently, I have gone through a lot of changes. 24 was definitely a year of growth in many ways, even though sometimes it felt like pure hell. But the thing is, I have always been fortunate enough to have a guiding voice and hand in this life, even at the darkest hours. The voice has helped me to be self aware and to know what I need to do to get to where I want to be.

I was very down on myself for the past couple of months because I was going through a really rough time in my relationship and it was messing with my emotions more than I had ever experienced before. Because of that, the voice got very quiet. I felt weak and like I had lost my vibrancy, and I felt a lot less confident because everything to do with my relationship was playing on my mind constantly. Even if things were getting better, it wouldn’t take away the things that had happened and the way that I felt. I seriously believed that there was something wrong with me, that I have overreacted and that it would all disappear. I tried to move forward and was always genuinely honest about the way that I was feeling, thinking that that communication would free my mind from the constant emotional turmoil of things that had really left a harsh impact on me. But the truth is that deep down, I knew a part of me was not being true to myself, and there’s the rub.

Needless to say, despite my love for my boyfriend, I had to end things. It’s weird because all through my life I had never understood when people would say that their relationship had failed but they both still loved each other regardless of their differences and no longer being together. I had always thought that they would be able to get through it, because…well because LOVE! If you love someone, then you work hard to make things work when they get fuzzy or difficult. It just made the most sense in my mind until this experience.  Things are not always black and white and that sometimes only becomes evident through your own experiences.

So here are some lessons that I have learned over the past 24 years. Hopefully they speak to you and can help you to know that things will actually always be okay, no matter what occurs.

  1. Recognize that your emotions of negativity are valid, but do not cling to them for long at all. They do not define you. Learn to detach and move forward.
  2. Go through life with a sense of empathy and kindness. Everyone is going through something and it is easy to judge, but make the effort not to. Help and be there along the way.
  3. Surround yourself with people who make you happy and people who motivate you to be better.
  4. Go to new places and experience the world. It helps you to grow and be happier as well as de-clutter your mind.
  5. Let go of other peoples expectations of what you should be doing and think about what you want and how you will achieve it without comparing yourself to others.
  6. Take breaks from social media. It is a way to stop comparing your journey to someone else’s and to stop stalking people. Really. Social media has reached a new low in making sure you can see when someone is active, where they are and who they are with. This is borderline stalking, people.
  7. Be more decisive. Don’t let other people make decisions for you.
  8. Form your own opinions and do things that make you happy, without harming anyone else of course.
  9. Enjoy your youth! We only have one chance at being young. Take advantage and make plans to do the things we love! Don’t jump the gun or become overly anxious at the age of 21 that you are not at your peak of success. It will come. Just plant some seeds for now!
  10. Be more present.
  11. Follow your heart, but always be true to yourself. Relationship’s should NOT be difficult or strenuous on your mental and physical health. No matter what the other person is saying, if it is toxic you DO have the choice to end things, even if it might hurt for a bit.
  12. Start new hobbies!
  13. Don’t move too fast when starting a relationship. It can be exciting, but don’t make promises that you might not be able to keep in a years time.
  14. Your happiness is extremely important. You are too young to be miserable.
  15. You are amazing! Love your body, take care of it, expand your horizons without becoming overwhelmed. These things may take time for some, but make a conscious effort and make small habits that will stick with you throughout life and you will feel so much better. You have power over your life!  Don’t let the bastards get you down 😉