There is this weird, unspoken societal structure to life where everyone feels they need to follow, or at least stay close to, a cookie cutter-like path in order to feel “fulfilled” and “happy”. Some people defy these unspoken rules and lead extraordinary lives and I guess this is just a reminder for myself and everyone around me that you don’t need to feel pressured to follow anyone else or their idea of life.
Everyone knows the formula: go get a job, go out to party every weekend, settle down with someone and buy a house, get married, have kids, etc. Some of these things are fundamental to certain people and that’s great! Other people are not so sure and are met with pressure if this doesn’t align with their wants and needs. Parents, significant others, friends, hell even people we don’t KNOW can bring these topics about as though it is engraved on some ancient tablet specifying the rules of life. It’s definitely enough to make you squirm and cringe if you aren’t too certain if you are choosing a different path. So here are some things that have helped me to focus on my own path while figuring out the things that I want to do to lead a life that is fulfilling to me.
Taking time to write out my goals
I have probably sat down 2.5 million times to write out all of my goals so that I have a very clear idea of what I am working towards. I am also a strong believer of the law of attraction, so speaking things into fruition as well as taking action, writing, creating to serve those ideas really helps me to know that this is my reality and that goals are super reachable. All of this helps to solidify the kind of life I want to lead and where I am at this point in time. Instead of leading to panic, it helps to motivate and comfort.
Taking time for friends, family, and time alone
Having a balance is seemingly impossible, but balance doesn’t necessarily mean that you are having equal parts all around but rather creating a balance that is true to you. Sometimes people need a little bit more alone time than others, sometimes people want to be surrounded by people more often. Whatever your truth is, make sure to make time for yourself to get to know and love YOU, because that is the most important relationship that you have first and foremost and, more times than not, needs the most work. Having a good relationship with yourself is also built through your friendships, family life, and love life, so isolating yourself is not helpful to help to build your true self. Yes, time alone is one hundred percent necessary, but, again, finding a comfortable balance of each is extremely beneficial for your psyche. Also, stop comparing yourself to others and avoid spending a lot of time on social media.
Learning to detach from things that do not serve you positively
As humans, we tend to hold onto all sorts of negative energy that no longer serves us. Sometimes it is easier to detach from these ideas than others, sometimes relationships can leave a permanent mark no matter how much you detach from the negative feeling it left you with. It’s important to know when to allow yourself to move forward from a situation that may not be getting better for you personally. Maybe you have let it all go, but there is still left over tension from past events that, no matter how positive you feel about it now, has just plain changed a relationship. What it comes down to is this: fear, envy, pain, stress, worry…it does not help you to move forward. And if you have let the feeling go but feel stunted in some way with someone or something like a job or something in that realm, then it is time to move forward. If you are able to let go of the feelings that it has caused you but no longer feel growth, face it and make your next move. It’s scary, but it’s honest. Which leads me to my next and last statement…
This is it. Life. Why not be honest? Be honest with yourself and about what you want. Be honest in your relationships but also be fair and understanding. Be empathetic and open. Challenge yourself. Be a good listener and be there for your friends, family, lover. Be there for YOU. Do activities that inspire your creativity. Be bold and choose to push fear away. Do not choose a path that is not true to you. Do not sacrifice parts of yourself to make someone else happy because that is how you lose yourself. This does not mean to be selfish, but if does mean to be real with yourself and if something is making you uncomfortable, speak up and have an open conversation about it. Do not be stopped by the idea of what if, but rather be inviting of it. Be kind and form opinions. Be decisive. And, most importantly, lose the idea that life is supposed to go a certain way because that is where you will lose yourself and your honesty.